addiction and depression

It is no accident that depression and addiction go together.It doesn't really matter which one came first.The point is they are both there.If you can figure out WHY one of those disorders exist,it doesn't mean that you can overcome it.Alcoholism and addiction are considered diseases and they can be held at bay by first accepting there is a problem,and then taking a course of action that requires a daily maintenance.Ten years ago,mental health professionals referred to co-occuring as dual-diagnosis.Being afflicted with depression,addiction,and alcoholism,it has been a lifelong battle.In and out of rehabs,hospitals,inpatient,outpatient.Therapy,mens groups,day programs,evening programs.Most of these still only deal with the substance abuse issue.But in my own experience, that is only treating the symptoms,not the problem.And there may never be an answer to that problem.The key is to be aware.They should be treated the same in some cases,but sometimes the 12 step programs can leave alot to be desired.Especially if you are surrounded by the "nazi's" of those programs.Those that subscribe to the school of thought that everything that is wrong with us is because of the fact that we are alcoholic,or because we are addicts.This is a very narrow approach that even the founders of these programs would agree that it doesn't do any one any good.Self esteem and self efficacy are of most importance to help in the recovery of these life threatening disorders.

What has been described here only scratches the surface of what it is like to deal with these on a daily basis.

Addiction and depression are subtle in so many ways.Even if there is a history of substance abuse,stopping the addiction isn't by any means the cure all.After a while of being clean and sober,the depression can set in.Attendance of 12 step meetings may be good,but there is sometimes a feeling of "Is this all there is"? That's when the addiction AND the depression can work together,where you still try to kill the pain of all the feelings and emotions that are coming up.Addictions can take many forms.Food,gambling,shopping,sex.All of these can also be a form of mania and some mental health professionals miss the boat on this.Pornography can be just as devastating as booze or drugs.It can ruin relationships as the need for pleasure becomes obsessive.Internet porn is perhaps the most powerful because you can find anything you want on the Internet.Internet porn is there because there is a demand and a need.It can be very addicting as well as expensive.It can also lead to a overwhelming feeling of guilt afterwards.And that guilt leads to shame,and the shame leads to a sense of worthlessness,which can eventually lead back into the substance abuse.it is an endless road that always leads back to the same place.Booze and drugs. Sexual desires are a normal human instinct,the addict or alcoholic can take it to another level.maybe to help with the guilt and shame we can realize that if it has a name,someone else has done it already.We aren't the first,although the shame and guilt makes us feel that way.There are so many pitfalls in recovery.There are so many great books on spirituality,meditation,and recovery from depression and addiction and alcohol.But if you are still struggling with some demons,it is o.k.Give yourself a break.You're at where you are at.Finding some folks that are supportive can be very healing.We don't need people telling us that we shouldn't be doing what we are doing because we already know that.Maybe the key is just to accept things about ourselves and each time we act on our addiction to food,sex or whatever,even if we start using drugs or booze again,we can come to see that we are on our way.It isn't a few giant steps backward.It is a few steps closer.

Keep the faith

Depression usually comes through like a storm cloud.It could be a clear,calm,and serene day and then the next thing you know you are wondering why everything is getting dark,nothing seems to make sense,that heavy feeling takes over and it is time to find some shelter.Others around you seem to be basking in the warm sun as you are being overshadowed by the big black cloud hanging over you.They don't seem to understand,and try and get you to snap out of it,thinking that something must have triggered it.Sometimes that is true.We can be our own worst enemy.Our own thoughts can hold us hostage by taking over to the point where we sink deeper and deeper into despair.

A sort of fixation on something that may have happened to us that day,which opens up a vault of subconscious memories that causes us to run the scenario over and over in our head.We find ourselves not being able to let go of the negative thoughts as they feed off one another and we continue to spiral downward.Our head can be a dangerous neighborhood to be in.Especially late at night when sleep is hard to come by.There seems to have been some sort of shift,maybe a biological shift that happens in us that we become overwhelmed,nothing seems to make sense

Thoughts can easily get all mixed up,perceptions can become confusing,even the simple task of going out and picking up laundry detergent is too overwhelming.Simple life decisions become as big as the world and there seems to be no escape.

This is where self awareness can be a great asset. Knowing what the feelings are,taking them as they come,and knowing they are there is half the battle.Sometimes,it doesn't even have to be a battle.Acceptance can give us more energy to work on getting through the storm.There is no need to fight it,just let it take it's course.

That's how powerful the thoughts can become.They can be a gateway to hell.There are so many things to do to help keep these thoughts at bay.One is walking.The best exercise in the world.The other is diet.You are what you eat is very true.I am not trying to come across as a new age nutritionist or exercise guru,because I happen to be a big fan of Oreos,Icecream,and other assorted sweets,but they really do affect my thinking if I overindulge. We all know supportive people are very important.Nothing like a friend that accepts you for who you are to sit and listen,and offer gentle suggestions to help you climb out of the pit.

Those are just three things we can do to stay out of those dangerous neighborhoods in our heads.The best way to get through hell is to just keep walking.dont stop to ask directions.

I hope this helps anyone that goes through any kind of depression and or addiction,or just the ups and downs of life.Any comments or advice or ideas would be nice.